Midnight's Choices
by M. Scott Eiland
Summary: As the Millennial New Year approaches, a new prophecy threatens Buffy, and several of her friends face significant decisions.
1. Default Chapter

Midnight's Choices  
  
Summary: As the Millennial New Year approaches, a new prophecy threatens Buffy, and several of her friends face significant decisions.  
  
Disclaimer: None of these characters are mine, as they remain the property of their owners/creators. . .I'm just cutting them some slack for a change.  
  
Rating: PG, for themes.  
  
Time Frame: After "Hush" and "Parting Gifts". (this is your spoiler warning, folks).  
  
Archiving: Please do, but e-mail me at eilandesq@aol.com because I'm interested in where stuff I write ends up, and I'll want to see what else you've got there.  
  
Author's Note: This story is a follow up to my story "Other Options", in which Giles acknowledged that he had been concealing romantic feelings for Willow, which Willow was not uninterested in, though she needed to resolve issues with Oz before she considered pursuing them.   
  
MIDNIGHT'S CHOICES  
  
Part I  
  
  
Rupert Giles glanced over at Buffy Summers, who nodded once. With that gesture of approval, he delivered a perfect right uppercut that propelled his opponent into the nearby wall. Ethan Rayne bounced off of the wall and slumped, unconscious. Giles grinned and turned to his Slayer, commenting, "I never get tired of that. Thank you, Buffy."  
  
Buffy grinned back at him and replied, "Glad to let you have the fun. . .but next time it's my turn." They turned to Willow and Xander, who were standing by in case they were needed, and motioned for them to come over. When they did, Buffy breezily announced, "All right, with Captain Chaos here out for the count, I think we've taken out the last of the jokers that wanted to wreck New Year's for everyone. . .I think we can call it a night. Remember, everyone, tomorrow at my mom's house for New Year's Eve. . .it'll be fun."  
  
Willow smiled and replied, "It sounds like it will be great, Buffy. . .who's going to be there?"  
  
Buffy replied, "The four of us. . .and Mom-Xander, will Anya be coming?"  
  
Xander glumly shook his head, and replied, "No. She said she had a prior engagement. . .with any other woman, I'd assume she was fooling around on me. . .but with Anya, I think she may be involved in something I don't really want to know about." He shrugged and concluded, "Probably still trying to get her powers back. . .guess that takes precedence over spending New Year's with the boyfriend."  
  
Buffy felt a pang of sadness for her friend. His actions during the siege of silence made it clear he had strong feelings for Anya, and vice versa, but the relationship was still shaky, and she worried about the effect it would have on him. She smiled sympathetically as Willow asked, "Is Riley going to be back for the party?"  
  
Buffy shook her head and replied, "No. . .he's doing the whole millenium thing with his family." * Assuming that his story isn't cover for stuff he hasn't been willing to tell me yet * she thought. When they had finally talked, Buffy had left out a lot of details in explaining to him who and what she was, including the fact that the vampire that had escaped the Initiative's custody was living in Giles' apartment. She was sure he was holding back some details, including that Professor Walsh had to be involved: her dream strongly suggested a connection between them. Ironically, the mutual caution had actually contributed to an increased level of comfort between them: they understood each other. She took a deep breath and looked attentively at Xander as she announced, "Oh, and Angel and Cordelia are coming."  
  
Buffy was surprised to see Xander's face remain calm as he asked, "What, they couldn't scare up a party in L.A.?", and grinned. She smiled back, relieved at the good humor with which he was taking the news, and replied, "Cordelia's still pretty shaken up over the whole thing with Doyle and getting his visions power after he died. Angel thinks some familiar faces would be good for her morale." After the Thanksgiving incident, Buffy had spoken with Angel and agreed with him that they would exchange information on a regular basis: she did not want a repetition of his lurking about without her knowing it, and she knew his information sources were excellent. She had felt a pang of sympathy for Angel and Cordelia when she heard of the death of Doyle, who she had only met once, but who had seemed to be an OK guy, and she knew that the sudden arrival of a new, frightening power had to be upsetting to Cordelia.  
  
Xander nodded and commented, "She's having a rough time of it. . .we can try to get her mind off things. . .maybe I should dress down, let her insult my wardrobe." Buffy and Willow giggled, and even Giles uttered a snort of laughter before calming down and commenting, "Well, that's taken care of. . .what shall we do with Sleeping Beauty here? I've made arrangements for him to be confined elsewhere, but my contact says that the delivery service won't be by for a few days. . .Buffy, I may have to pass up your party. . .someone has to keep an eye on Ethan tomorrow."  
  
Buffy gave him a mock glare, then replied, "Not a problem, Giles. I've made arrangements." The others stared at her as she dismissed the subject and ordered, "All right, Willow, Xander, you get back and get a decent night's sleep. . .we'll be partying late tomorrow night." Willow and Xander departed, and Buffy waited for them to get well out of earshot before turning to Giles and asking, "You're sure of the translation of that prophecy?"  
  
Giles reluctantly nodded, and replied, "Yes. A convoluted series of references to events that translates to midnight Pacific time, January 1st, 2000, and the words, 'the slayer must face her most dangerous opponent alone just before the fated hour, or court future disaster.'" He frowned and commented, "It is rather dodgy, Buffy. . .just by living on the Hellmouth you are courting disaster. . .I think you should let the others know, and let us help."  
  
Buffy shook her head and replied, "Not a chance. This time, even the prophecy says to go it alone. I'm not going to risk my friends by going against the wording of a prophecy that excludes them."  
  
Giles sighed and commented, "Buffy, you're not indestructible. You have to learn to accept help when you need it. . .or we will lose you, and I can't bear that thought."  
  
Buffy smiled sympathetically, and replied, "I'll be careful. . .I'm just wondering who my most dangerous opponent is." A chill went down her spine and she looked intently at Giles. "Make sure you have all of the ingredients for another curse, Giles. Someone like your old buddy the soul-sucking guy might pull his whammy on Angel, and turn Angelus loose on Sunnydale again. . .that might be what the prophecy is."  
  
Giles nodded, but he doubted it: there would be no reason for Buffy not to be able to recruit help against Angelus. He nodded and looked down at Ethan, asking, "So who's going to baby-sit our friend here?"  
  
Buffy gave him an evil smile and replied, "I've decided to let your tenant work for his keep."  
  
  
*****  
  
Ethan gradually regained consciousness. As his vision cleared, he could also detect the faint odor of chloroform: apparently Ripper and his Slayer had decided to keep him under longer than that nasty punch would have. He realized that he was in a closet: from the light coming under the door, he suspected that there was someone there. He was not happy, and decided to let his captors know it. "Ripper, you bloody bastard! Get me out of this damned closet, or I'll make you regret you ever heard of Ethan-"  
  
The door opened, and Ethan found himself looking up at a young man with bleached blond hair wearing an amused smirk. The man effortlessly lifted the chair that Ethan was tied to, moving it into what appeared to be Ripper's living room. During this process, Ethan noted that the stranger was rather pale, was not breathing, and showed no pulse in his throat. He paled, but managed to ask calmly, "So, you're a vampire?"  
  
The blond vampire nodded, and elaborated, "William the Bloody. . .or more commonly. . .Spike."  
  
Ethan paled: he had heard of this vampire before, and what he had heard made his blood run cold. Puzzled, he asked, "What are you doing in Ripper's apartment?"  
  
Spike watched Ethan for a moment, then replied, "I'm doing the Slayer a favor. . .best way to keep in her good graces, you know." Smirking again at the shocked look in Ethan's eyes, he elaborated, "Don't you know anything about this town, man? This Slayer has kicked the ass of every nasty that has blown in here for the past three years, including yours truly. I just got tired of it. . .so I made a deal with her. I don't kill people in her neck of the woods, do her a favor now and again, and she doesn't spend her life making my unlife unpleasant, if you get my drift." He looked at the increasingly uneasy man tied up in front of him, and his vampiric face appeared. He leaned in and whispered, "The Slayer asked me to tell you if you got out of line that I was free to make a midnight snack of you. . .and I could bloody well use one. . .it's the Millenium New Year, you know, and nothing beats Dick Clark with some nice warm blood." His face returned to its human appearance, and he asked, "Are we clear now, friend?"  
  
Pale as a sheet, Ethan managed to nod. Spike commented, "Good. Now let's put you back in the closet so I can watch Dick Clark in peace, all right?" This was accomplished without complaint or incident, and Spike settled down with a cup of blood and the sounds of the television. * The Slayer had better come through with that extra blood, or I'm not going to be happy * Dismissing the matter, Spike watched the screen with no further interruptions from Ethan.  
  
*****  
  
  
Buffy frowned: it was eleven and no sign of Angel or Cordelia. She hoped that they would still be coming, as she knew that Cordelia needed cheering up. She walked back into the house, passing the sign which read "Math Geeks not welcome: Come back next year": Willow had laughed and Giles had raised an eyebrow at the humor. She saw Xander standing forlornly near the punch bowl: she met his eyes and gave him an encouraging smile, and he responded with a smile of his own and a raising of his glass. Willow, Giles and her mom were conversing about some unknown topic across the room. Buffy watched Giles and Willow carefully: they seemed perfectly at ease, but Buffy knew that their conversation from earlier that month still was rattling around in their heads. Buffy had filled her mom in on what had happened (it wasn't as if Giles and Willow were being terribly subtle about it) and Joyce had counseled her to just butt out: things would work out however they were meant to. Given her recent experiences with Parker, Buffy was inclined to agree.  
  
There was a knock at the open door, and Buffy turned to see Angel come in, with Cordelia following just behind him. Buffy moved over and gave him a friendly hug before saying, "Glad you're here." She turned to Cordelia, and was shocked to see the expression in her eyes: she looked a lot like Buffy had after she had sent Angel to hell, though her makeup and clothing, as always, were picture perfect. Obeying a sudden impulse, she walked over and hugged the taller woman tightly, then looked up to see the reaction. No distaste or annoyance, just a brief flash of appreciation and then a return to that beaten look as she whispered, "Thanks, Buffy, nice to see you too." She moved over to hang up her coat while Buffy gave Angel a worried look, which he returned with an "I know" look.  
  
Buffy watched Cordelia exchange greetings with Willow, Giles, and Joyce: the words were perfectly correct, but the tone was flat, containing none of Cordelia's usual energy. She wandered over to the snack table and began to fiddle with the cracker dish, and Buffy had seen enough. She walked over to Xander and hissed at him, "You've got to talk to her, Xander. She's really in bad shape."  
  
Xander looked back at her and hissed back, "What do you expect me to do about it? In case you haven't noticed, I've generally been better at causing her pain than ending it."  
  
Buffy stared at him for a moment, then realized for the first time the true guilt he felt over having cheated on Cordelia and indirectly causing her injuries: he had masked it well at the time with bitterness over her unwillingness to forgive him and about his perception that no one trusted him and Willow any more. She adopted a more sympathetic tone and commented, "I thought you two had patched things up during the prom."  
  
Xander nodded and replied, "We did. . .but I really hurt her, Buffy. I don't want to be the cause of any more of her pain. . .even if she's dished out a fair amount of her own at me."  
  
Buffy sighed, and looked at Xander with a determined expression as she commented, "Xander, I've never totally understood how you've ended up with the women you have. Cordelia, Faith, and now Anya. . .a lot of people would have written them off as lost causes, but you tried to do right by all three of them. . .it nearly got you killed with Faith. When you first started going out with Cordelia, I was convinced that you were crazy. . .that you deserved better than her. Well, you were right and I was wrong: as annoying as she can be, she was worth the effort. You've almost got me sold on Anya, though this whole still trying to get her powers back thing has me a bit tense." Xander laughed at the truth in that comment, and she continued, "Xander, if you go to her wanting to help, you won't hurt her: it's not in your nature. . .at least where Angel's not involved."  
  
Xander laughed ruefully as he watched Buffy: he had gone over the line more than once regarding Buffy's relationship with Angel, and he felt lucky that she had not just walked away from their friendship over it. He looked for condemnation in her eyes, and only saw encouragement. He nodded once and walked over to Cordelia, retrieving two glasses of punch as he did so.  
  
Angel glided over to Buffy and asked quietly, "Do you think he can get to her?"  
  
Buffy looked up at him and nodded before elaborating, "If anyone can, he can. . .it's what he's good at." Angel noted the briefly wistful expression on her face before it changed, but chose not to comment on it. She turned to him and asked, "So what's new in the supernatural detective business?"  
  
  
*****  
  
Xander moved next to Cordelia and watched her fiddle with the cracker dish for several seconds before commenting, "You know, some people actually eat those things, rather than just playing around with the dish." He waited for a sarcastic comeback, only to see her look over at him and nod absently, then reach for a cracker. He was startled by the look in her eyes: it was worse than the dead look she had given him in the hospital room when she told him to stay away from her. He repressed the outburst that was his first impulse and reached for her arm, squeezing it gently and whispering, "Cordy, I can't stand seeing you like this. . .won't you talk to me about it?"  
  
Cordelia looked at him for a long moment, then looked around the room. Buffy and Angel were conversing quietly, with both of them looking away from Xander and Cordelia. Willow, Giles, and Joyce were laughing at something that Giles was saying, and saw no signs of interest in the tense pair standing near the front door. She looked at Xander, and saw very little of the young man who had so recently spent much of his time trying to maneuver the two of them into the nearest broom closet. He looked concerned and protective, much as he usually did on the occasions where he had saved her life, and she believed that he felt that he was in that situation again. She blinked and tried to struggle through the blanket of despair that she had been living under for the past month as she smiled at him and replied, "Xander, you're sweet, but I don't know if you can help me with this. . .I'm not sure that you can understand what I'm going through."  
  
Xander frowned and replied, "What, I don't know what it's like to lose a friend? Jesse, Miss Calendar. . .Buffy almost dying, and you-" Cordelia saw his face cloud over in guilt, and she reached over and grasped his arm and interjected, "Xander, don't. That's done with. . .I know you didn't mean to hurt me. . .and that's not what I meant. . .not exactly." She paused and gathered her thoughts for a moment before continuing, "Xander, I was just starting to deal with losing Doyle. . .when this damned vision thing comes along and really messes up my life. You can't know what that's like. . .you just can't."  
  
Xander suddenly looked hurt, and seemed ready to back off when Cordelia realized the problem and tightened her grip on his arm before continuing, "No, Xander, this isn't a sequel to my Zeppo riff in January. . .besides, you showed me on that, didn't you? Helped save the world the very next day. . .although I bet you were really smirking because Faith let you sleep with her. . .oh, by the way, ewww on that little accomplishment." Xander had the good grace to look embarrassed as Cordelia continued, "Xander, the point is, when you help Buffy, Giles, and Willow, you just pitch in and do your best: you haven't been given any special power or responsibility by some higher authority. Now, The Powers That Be have dumped this big important vision thing in my head without giving me any warning, and now the fate of the whole world might depend on my ability to tell Angel what I see when my head feels like it is going to explode. . .and I'm scared to death. What if I can't handle it? What if they screwed up and gave it to the wrong person? The world could end. . .and it would be my fault."  
  
Xander was taken aback by Cordelia's confession: he had seen her angry, dismissive, amused, and in any number of other states, but never had he seen her in such a state of self-doubt before. He watched the play of emotions on her face for a long moment, then clasped her hand in his and met her eyes confidently. "They chose the right person, Cordelia," he began, willing her to believe what he was saying, "because if you weren't, you wouldn't have the sense to ask these questions about yourself. You'll figure it out. . .because when you put your mind to something, you don't quit or back off." He paused, then smiled ruefully, "Cordy, as fun as our broom closet sessions were, I didn't want to be with you as long as I was just for that. . .you're tough, smart, and brave. . .and when I'm not busy ducking whatever verbal artillery you're throwing my way, I respect the hell out of you. I'm glad Dead Boy is getting help from someone I trust as much as I do you."  
  
Cordelia blinked, and when she met Xander's eyes again, he could see that most of the gloom had lifted, though he could still tell that some doubt remained. She managed a rather sardonic smile as she whispered, "Boy, if you can manage a speech that good for an ex, I'd love to see what you're telling your current squeeze." Xander could see the look of gratitude in her eyes that belied the casual sarcasm in her voice as she asked, "So how is the former vengeance demon you call sweetie, anyway?"  
  
  
As always, comments are welcomed and desired  
  
  



	2. Part II

Part II  
  
  
Buffy and Angel saw the change in mood across the room, and both were relieved with the result of the conversation their sensitive ears had allowed them to hear clearly. Buffy chuckled as Angel grumbled, "All this time, and he still won't stop calling me Dead Boy." Angel looked at her in annoyance, then turned as Willow walked over to them and gave Angel a quick hug, commenting, "Cordelia seems to be doing O.K. now," nodding over to where a normal amount of banter between Xander and Cordelia had begun. Buffy nodded and commented, "Xander rides to the rescue again," drawing laughs from Willow and Angel. Angel looked at Willow and asked, "Willow, could we speak privately for a moment?" Willow nodded and walked into the kitchen with Angel, leaving behind a curious Buffy.  
  
When they were alone, Angel reached into his jacket and pulled out a letter, which he handed to Willow. He seemed to be about to explain, but Willow held up a hand: she could see the handwriting on the top was clearly Oz's. She opened the letter and began to read:  
  
  
Dear Willow,  
  
It has only been six weeks since I left, but it already seems like forever. I wish that I had better news, but I don't. Angel has helped me by finding me a safe place to stay and helping me to find research materials so that I can try to find a cure for my condition. . .so what happened will never happen again.  
  
I'm not kidding myself: Giles warned me before I left, and Angel warned me when I told him what I wanted, that a cure for lycanthropy has been sought for centuries, and has either never been found or was lost some time in the past. I know that I'm going in the teeth of the advice that the two people who should know best have given me, but I refuse to quit: my motivation for continuing is too strong.  
  
Not long ago, I had a foreboding that time was running out. . .that if I didn't find what I was looking for soon something catastrophic would happen. I can't be sure, but I think that what I feared was that I would lose you forever. Part of me wants to come back to you and to hell with the risk. . .but that isn't going to happen: I'd rather be dead myself than risk being the cause of your death. I didn't really understand how Angel could stand to leave Buffy until now, but the feeling I've had since I awakened after killing Veruca explains it to me completely: loving someone means wanting to keep them safe from harm. . .even if it means losing them. I'm going to take that risk now, Willow. If you meet someone who cares for you, and who you care for, I'll understand if you choose to pursue it. I won't be turning cartwheels, and if you're still free and single when and if I return, I hope that you'll want to give us another chance. But I have to seek my salvation, and I won't let that quest stand in the way of your happiness.   
  
Don't try to get Angel to tell you where I am, Willow. It won't help matters, and I'm not going to change my mind. If you hate me for that, I can only hope that you forgive me someday.  
  
All my love,  
  
Oz  
  
  
  
Willow finished the letter, then handed it to Angel with a gesture indicating that he should read it as she wiped a tear from her eye. Angel read the letter quickly, then looked at his friend with concern before asking, "Willow, are you all right?"  
  
She looked at him and smiled wanly as she replied, "I have to be, Angel. . .things get too wacky around here when I'm not." She sighed and commented, "He sure knows how to complicate my life. . .and I just don't know what to do."  
  
Two and a half centuries of experience allowed Angel to interpret the somewhat cryptic meaning in Willow's statement. He looked at her and asked, "So, there is someone else?"  
  
Willow looked up at him and smiled ruefully, commenting, "You don't miss much, do you, Angel?" She spent a few moments recounting the events from that night in her dorm room, when Giles' visit to cheer her up in the aftermath of the spell backfire fiasco had led to Giles kissing her, then Willow kissing him back in full view of Buffy and Spike. When she finished, Willow could see that Angel was not surprised. Annoyed, she commented, "You know, you could have given an old friend a heads-up if you knew that this was coming. . .it was completely out of left field for me."  
  
Angel shrugged and replied, "As far as I knew, you and Oz were in it for the long haul. . .and my presence in Giles' romantic life has led to nothing but sorrow in the past. . .if he wasn't going to say anything, I certainly wasn't." Willow abruptly looked guilty, and Angel smiled ruefully and continued, "Sorry, that came out wrong. . .Willow, you are a lovely young woman who happens to share a lot of common interests with Giles, as well as a lot of other positive traits. If he wasn't a man of such impeccable ethical standards, I suspect he would have let you know of his feelings long before this, whether Oz was still in the picture or not. As it stood, he would have stayed silent forever as long as you were with Oz, and I wouldn't have interfered with his own standards of virtue on the matter." He looked at his friend with a wistful smile on his face and commented, "Besides, you weren't completely bereft of feelings of your own going the other way, were you?"  
  
Willow looked at Angel, damning the all-too perceptive gaze for a long moment before frowning, then nodding briefly. She looked at the ground as she spoke, sounding vaguely perplexed as she struggled to express herself: "It was never really a big thing. . .between Xander and Oz, my feelings were kinda busy, you know?. . .But I was always aware of him. He's clever, and funny, and he thinks about things. . .sometimes when Buffy was out on patrol alone, and we were alone in the library without any urgent research, we would just sit there and talk about whatever came to mind. . .I felt so badly for him when Jenny died. . .but it never occurred to me that he would be interested in me." She smiled and commented, "When his old friend Olivia came to town a couple of weeks ago, I thought that he had decided to move on, thinking that I wouldn't be over Oz for a long time, if ever. But she got freaked out by the business with the Gentlemen, and she took the next plane back to England. I don't know what he's thinking now, and I'm totally conflicted about what to do now."  
  
Angel walked closer and put his hand on her shoulder, causing her to look up into his eyes. "Willow, Oz has done the best he could by giving you the option of moving on if that's what feels right. Give it as much thought as you see fit, then make the decision that you think is best for you. You're the smartest person I've ever met, and if you put your mind to this, I'm sure you'll find the best solution possible." He leaned down and kissed her gently on the forehead, as a father might do to his troubled daughter, then asked quietly, "Anything I can do to help, Willow?"  
  
She looked up at him and smiled, then replied, "No, you're right, I just have to think this out. Why don't you go out and visit with Buffy some more. . .I'm going to stay in here a little while and think a bit." She reached up and pulled his head down so that she could kiss him on the cheek, and softly said, "Thank you, Angel." He nodded and left the kitchen, leaving behind a young woman with a thoughtful expression on her face.  
  
  
*****  
  
Giles and Joyce watched Angel and Willow disappear into the kitchen, and Joyce raised an eyebrow as she commented, "I wonder what that is all about?"  
  
Giles had a good idea, and saw no reason why not to tell Joyce, as she knew of Willow's situation and had been concerned about it. "Angel has been helping Oz try to find a cure for his lycanthropy: I assume he is giving her news of how Oz is doing and what his prospects are of returning."  
  
Joyce nodded, then asked, "How do you feel about that, Rupert?"  
  
Giles replied automatically, not noting the concerned look on Joyce's face: "Willow has been devastated by Oz's departure: why wouldn't I want her to be reassured, or at least informed about what was happening with him?" He looked at Joyce and saw that she was giving him a sympathetic look, then put two and two together. He suppressed the rather unpleasant curse that came to mind, then grated out, "I wish your daughter wouldn't broadcast the trivia of my personal life during your conversations together. . .perhaps I should have a word with her."  
  
Joyce laughed and retorted, "Don't you dare! After two years of Buffy being totally closed-mouthed about what was going on with her life, and another year of worrying myself to death that some demon would kill her, it's a blessed relief to hear her just talking about mundane gossip. Besides, it's not just your life, it's Willow's, and Willow certainly made sure that Buffy and Spike knew what she was thinking."  
  
Giles nodded, acknowledging the truth in her words, then asked, "All right then, Joyce, how do you feel about it? You probably think I'm an old fool for entertaining any such notions about someone as young as Willow."  
  
Joyce smiled and replied, "No, Rupert, I don't. I've known Willow almost since I've been here in Sunnydale, and I love her as much as if she were my own daughter. She's definitely worth falling in love with. . .and I trust her to take care of herself." She sighed, then laughed and commented, "Actually, I'm a little relieved. I was always worried that Buffy would-." She stopped and looked as he visibly started and stammered, "Joyce, you have to-to know that I never would--."   
  
Joyce smiled at him and replied, "I know that you are an honorable man, Rupert, and I know that you treat Buffy as if she were your own daughter. But you two spend a great deal of time in close contact, in great danger, and you are both terribly attractive people in general. Things happen, and I was wondering whether it was just a matter of time." She frowned and asked, "Didn't you have an old friend in town. . .what was her name. . .Olivia, right?"  
  
Giles nodded and replied, "The whole thing with the Gentlemen was too much for her, and I understood her reasons for wanting to leave." He paused as Joyce shuddered: she had been out of town for that horrible incident, and had to watch helplessly as news reports came in about the problems in Sunnydale, knowing that Buffy and her friends had to be in terrible danger and frustrated at her inability to help. After a moment, she nodded to indicate he should continue, and he concluded, "I saw her off at Sunnydale Airport last week, and I don't expect she will be back. . .and the sad fact is, I'm rather grateful, for more than one reason." He sighed and commented, "For all of Willow's bravado, I don't expect her to come knocking on my door: she'll try to hold out hope for Oz's return as long as she can, and she can be quite stubborn when she wants to be. She was probably just trying to reassure me that I wasn't just some pathetic old man lusting after a wonderful young woman."  
  
Joyce saw the pain in his eyes and reached out to squeeze his hand as she replied, "Rupert, Willow is basically a very honest person-I saw how that whole mess with Xander and Cordelia and Oz blew up last year, and she felt terribly guilty about it. If she just wanted to let you down easily, she would have let you know. Whether she chooses you or not, she's not lying about being interested in you. . .I'm sure of it."  
  
Giles smiled wanly and replied teasingly, "It couldn't be that you have a prejudiced point of view, could it, Joyce?"  
  
Joyce smiled and squeezed his hand again as she replied, "Well, maybe a little. . .but it's not as if we'd ever try to make anything work, Rupert. . .it would be just too off-putting to have Buffy going 'Eww!' every time she walked in on us. . .that whole mess with Ted was bad enough."  
  
Giles laughed involuntarily and Joyce joined him: just as they were recovering, Angel emerged from the kitchen and walked over to Buffy. Joyce raised an eyebrow and commented, "I wonder how that went?"  
  
Giles was watching Angel too, and he could only manage the stock answer: "I guess we'll just have to see."  
  
  
*****  
  
  
"So, I thought that Spike had killed Anya, and I just lost it. I was beating the crap out of him when Anya got my attention: turned out that Spike had just been drinking blood and put on his game face. . .God only knows why. Anyway, it convinced her that I really cared about her and she. . .well, you don't want to hear that part." Xander stopped as Cordelia laughed briefly, then replied, "Definitely not. So you two are pretty tight now, huh?"  
  
Xander nodded, pleased that Cordelia was being so detached about the whole thing, and replied, "Yeah, pretty much. . .though I figure that getting her powers back is still what she wants, so every time she hears of some possibility of doing that, she'll take off and I'll have to wait to see if she ever comes back." He laughed hollowly and commented, "I guess it's a less nasty form of what Willow is going through. . .it figures."  
  
Cordelia looked at him intently, then asked, "Xander, it's none of my business, but why are you dealing with this? You chose to spend a whole summer in Oxnard, which from what you described is even an ickier place than the name would imply, rather than come back to town and hang out with your friends, or to use those nifty soldier skills you picked up to enlist in the military. . .why didn't you come back here and take a chance at going after the person you've been obsessing over all along?"  
  
Xander looked at her for a long moment, then replied, "Cordy, she's made her feelings on the matter quite clear. . .and I'm not one to keep beating his head on a concrete wall for no good reason. If Buffy ever is interested in me, she can let me know; otherwise, I'm staying clear. . .it just hurts too much." He laughed and commented, "That Parker guy she went out with looked enough like me to be my brother: after he screwed her over, I'm just glad she can stand to be in the same room with me."  
  
Cordelia saw the pain in his face, and she reached out and clasped his hands as he had done with her earlier, then commented, "Xander, she cares a lot about you. . .it's why I was always freaked out when you'd talk about her. . .I was always afraid that she'd finally give up on Angel and look your way, and that you'd drop me in a heartbeat. . .I had been preparing myself for it for months. . .I think that's why I hated you so much after that thing with Willow. . .I never saw it coming: you two were almost like brother and sister. . .it just seemed unnatural somehow."  
  
Xander felt a spasm of guilt at her confession, and he began stammering an apology, only to have her cut him off by commenting, "Xander, I know. Willow told me the whole story last year. . .I think she had the right idea with that de-lusting spell, even though it didn't work out. Xander, you'll walk into hell to save a friend, but otherwise your willpower just sucks."  
  
Xander laughed, then reached forward to give his ex-girlfriend a warm hug. He straightened and announced quietly, "Queen C has not lost her touch. . .funny, I wanted to cheer you up, and you're doing that service for me. Thanks."  
  
Cordelia looked at him gravely and replied, "Any time. . .you big spaz, you." They both laughed and decided to pay more attention to the snacks for awhile.   
  
  
As always, comments are welcomed and desired  
  
  



	3. Part III

Part III  
  
  
Buffy pretended to be paying attention to Dick Clark as he excitedly described the scene at Times Square, but she was completely focused on Xander and Cordelia's conversation. When Cordelia asked Xander about why he just didn't come back to Sunnydale when his car broke down, Buffy realized that she had secretly wondered that herself. . .and she didn't like the probable reason. When Xander commented that Parker looked a lot like him, Buffy had to restrain herself from smacking her forehead. * No wonder I fell for Parker's lines. . .he reminded me of someone that I trust with my life. . .and Xander's worried that I'll hold it against him. . .I've got to let him know it's so not a problem. . .when I was at my lowest point since Angel went to hell, he gave me the courage to go on. . .he has to know that I love-- * Buffy flinched at the unbidden thought that had arisen. Where in the hell had that come from? * It's not like that. . .it's like I told Faith, I love him, but I don't LOVE him. . . *  
  
"I was wondering when you would notice that."  
  
Buffy turned slowly and saw Angel watching her with a patient look on his face. She knew that he had heard what she had, and she retorted defensively, "What, that Xander has the hots for me? That's old news, Angel. Even Anya must be clued in on that by now. . .I hope I don't wake up some day with a nasty vengeance spell courtesy of Anya's jealousy."  
  
Angel shook his head slowly, a look of resignation on his face. "No, Buffy, I meant that I was wondering when you would notice that you had feelings of your own in that area."  
  
Buffy was stunned: she glared at Angel and grated out, "Xander is one of my best friends, and he's risked his life dozens of times to try to protect me. I love him. . .and you're reading into that that I want to be with him? That's a bit of a stretch, Angel."  
  
Angel sighed, then looked intently at the woman he had loved for years as he replied, "Buffy, do you think I would have been jealous of him if I didn't sense that deep down you did find him attractive. . .that you could fall in love with him? I've been around for a long time: I know the signs by now."  
  
Buffy frowned and retorted, "If that's true, then why didn't you ever bring it up again after that one time? You've been amazingly tolerant of Xander. . .he treated you like dirt even before you lost your soul, even after you saved his life more than once. Why put up with it?"  
  
Angel's eyes clouded over for a moment, then he looked at her intently as he replied softly, "Because I owe him a debt that I can never repay, Buffy. The night you went after the Master, Xander came to give me the news, and in that moment I gave up all hope. . .I think I would have walked into the sun the next morning rather than face the world that the Master would rule. Xander convinced me that it was still worth trying. . .because we both loved you, then he willingly followed me into what could be expected to be the most dangerous place on earth and saved your life when I couldn't. Then, of course, there was the time when Angelus put you in the hospital, and Xander was the only thing standing between you and certain death. . .or worse. Xander couldn't have even slowed him down-he had to know that, and yet he stood there taunting him. . .he'd probably be rather unnerved to know just how close he came to dying that night." He sighed again, and continued, "He did test my gratitude at times. . .I have to admit that punching him out during the whole charade with Faith did give me a little satisfaction; however, he's always come through for you in the end. . .as a concerned ex, I have to admit that that scores him points with me as far as a potential love interest for you."  
  
Buffy frowned and commented, "Damn it, Angel. . .don't you think that I would have been thrilled to fall for Xander?. . .it would have made my life so much simpler, particularly after Willow finally decided she didn't want to be with him. But there's always been something missing, and I can't put my finger on it."   
  
She looked expectantly at Angel, only to see him smile and shake his head before commenting, "I can't read your mind, Buffy. I don't know what it is that's causing the problem. . .you're going to have to work that out on your own."  
  
Buffy gave him a mock glare and commented, "You're a lot of help," just before she felt a chill down her spine and a vague feeling that something was happening in her old room. Angel saw the look on her face and asked, "What's wrong?" Buffy smiled and commented, "Nothing. . .I just have to get something out of my room." Angel glanced at her oddly, suspecting that she was being less than straight with him, but she just smiled and walked casually up the stairs, entering her room and switching on the light. Nothing seemed amiss, and she walked further into the room, glancing at the window and peeking into the closet. Abruptly, the door swung closed, and Buffy felt disoriented for a long moment.  
  
When her perceptions cleared somewhat, she found herself in what appeared to be a dimly lit, very large room. The perspective seemed odd somehow, and she could not determine the actual dimensions of the room. . .and she could not get a good look at the cloaked and hooded figure that approached her. She tensed, expecting trouble, and intently stared at the figure as it came into close range. Buffy called out, "All right, that's close enough." Her voice sounded distorted, and she was not surprised when the reply that came back was also distorted to the point where the voice was unrecognizable:  
  
"I am your most dangerous opponent, Buffy. Prepare to be defeated."  
  
  
*****  
  
Cordelia smiled at Xander and laughed, "I'm glad to see you still have your priorities. . .well, where they were," as she nodded at the collection of snack food that Xander had accumulated. Xander might have taken it as a dig at one time, but now he just smiled and replied, "It wouldn't hurt you to dig in a little more, Cordelia. . .you can always diet until the next millenium day comes."  
  
Cordelia smirked and replied, "Thanks, but I'll pass. Listen, you've been sweet, but I'm going to go out for a walk. . .you stay and enjoy the party." Ignoring Xander's protests, she reached out, squeezed his hand, and walked out of the open door. Xander turned around looking for support, and saw Angel already headed for the open door. He stopped long enough to nod at his old nemesis and earnestly say, "Thanks, Xander."  
  
Xander nodded and replied, "Any time." Angel nodded again and glided out the door as Willow emerged from the kitchen and walked over to Xander, asking, "Where's Angel going?"  
  
Xander turned to his best friend and replied, "More morale boosting for Cordelia. . .she's feeling better, but she's really shaken up by the whole 'I've got really important powers and I'm afraid of screwing things up' thing. It's up to him now. . .he's the one who spends the most time with her, and I hope he knows what to say, because I'm all tapped out." He looked at her with concern and asked, "Are you all right? You were in the kitchen for a long time."  
  
Willow smiled faintly and replied, "I got a letter from Oz." She explained the contents of the letter to Xander, and he was moved to give her a hug, after which he stepped back and asked, "So is there someone else you'd like to be with, Will?"  
  
She nodded and sighed, "Someone we both know. . .he told me that he had feelings for me, and I'm attracted to him, but I just don't know, Xander. Maybe I'm being too hasty in giving up on Oz. . .maybe he'll come up with the cure, and I'll have thrown our relationship away and risked my friendship with. . .the other man for no good reason. I just wish I could know if I'm doing the right thing."  
  
Xander led her over to the couch, and he looked intently at her as he replied, "Willow, Oz sent you that letter because he had to know he'd probably be at this search for many months, if not years. Any info on the supernatural that neither Giles nor Angel have a bead on isn't going to be on the best seller list, you know?" Willow nodded sadly, and he continued, "Will, when I thought that Spike had killed Anya, all I could think about as I pounded on him was that I really cared about her and that I had never really showed her, or told her. We live in danger here, and at any moment one of us could be dead, or worse. If you have feelings for this guy, I think you should pursue it. If it doesn't work, it doesn't work, and maybe Oz will come back reasonably soon with you knowing that you've tried all your options and have no regrets. Willow, present company aside, you've had pretty good taste in guys. . .whoever you choose is going to be all right."  
  
Willow looked at him for a long moment, then whispered, "Thanks, Xander," then stood up and noted that the clock read one minute to midnight. After a few more moments of thought, Willow's face assumed a determined look as she began walking slowly across the room. Xander watched her as the second hand passed twenty seconds to midnight and he noticed where she was walking. He put two and two together with unaccustomed ease and was on the verge of a startled exclamation when a noise at the threshold caused him to turn around, and for a long moment he was speechless at what he saw.  
  
*****  
  
Buffy parried a punch and delivered one of her own, only to have it effortlessly batted aside. They had been fighting for what felt like several minutes, but neither had delivered a solid blow yet. Buffy could tell that her opponent possessed fighting skills in her class, and the cloaked figure seemed to be testing her abilities too. Could it be Faith? No, Faith had never fought a defensive battle this well in her life: she would be attacking far more aggressively. Also, Faith wasn't this much of a chatterbox in combat: this one liked to taunt, and she apparently knew something about her opponent.  
  
"So you're the great Slayer who's been wreaking havoc through the underworld these past years? Seems like you're a bit overrated to me. . .figures, given that you'd be dead for years if you didn't have all of those protectors following you around."  
  
Buffy glared and delivered a spinning side kick that the figure sidestepped partially, causing a glancing blow that sent it staggering back without apparent harm. It recovered and executed a sweep that knocked Buffy to the ground, but she was on her feet instantly as she snapped back, "They're not my protectors. . .they're my friends, and they're not here now."  
  
The figure laughed mockingly, and replied, "All the more trouble for you then. . .where would you be without Xander's having brought you back from the dead, or Willow casting a spell here, or finding some obscure data on the Internet there. Moldering in the ground, that's where you'd be. And as for your Watcher. . .do you think that most Slayers get a man in the prime of life who is a match for most vampires himself? Not likely. They get some doddering old fool who is good for little but a pat on the head and a little cryptic advice as he sends them off to die. I don't even need to go into Angel, do I? Any Slayer with that much help could have done what you've done, Buffy. . .all you've done is expose a lot of good people to danger because you don't have the guts to face your duty alone!"  
  
Buffy's eyes narrowed: she knew that voice now. . .it had mocked her in her dreams and in her darkest moments ever since her early days in Sunnydale. . .and it was about goddamned time that she shut it up for good. She began a ferocious flurry of kicks and punches that had the figure retreating defensively, and it didn't stop her from snarling her reply at her foe: "I've believed that myself for way too long. . .I've tried to push them away when I thought it was too dangerous. . .I ran because I thought that I was useless, and that I'd only hurt them if I stayed. I was wrong. I've read the diaries. . .no Slayer has had to do as much as I have before, faced so many threats to the world, and I've done my best, but I've needed help, and I should have just admitted it once and for all and just accepted the fact that I'm the luckiest person in the world to have the friends that I do. I need them. . .I just don't need them to kick your bony little ass!" With that, she delivered a perfect uppercut, and the figure went flying into a wall, slumping into unconsciousness just as Ethan had the night before. Her face still distorted by fury, Buffy strode forward and ripped the hood away. . .and saw her own face. She snorted and commented, "I figured as much. Way too 'The Empire Strikes Back', guys." She whirled and saw the woman approaching her, stopping as the eerie surroundings coalesced into Buffy's room, and Jenny Calendar commented, "A little cliched, but I think it got the message across."  
  
Buffy's glare intensified, and her voice was harsh as she snapped back, "Oh, great. Didn't you get the message when I messed up your plan last year. . .this is my town, and no all-powerful cosmic evil is going to mess with it!"  
  
Jenny smiled gently and replied, "I should think not. . .but I'm playing for the home team, Buffy." She blinked a couple of times and continued softly, "It's good to see you."  
  
Buffy blinked, and tried to disbelieve the sight of Jenny Calendar alive and well in her room, but she wasn't getting any of the vibes that the First Evil had given her, and her well-honed survival instincts were completely insufficient to restrain her from rushing forward and giving her lost friend a ferocious hug which lasted until Jenny commented, "Buffy, I'm not exactly alive anymore, but that is beginning to smart." Buffy withdrew and looked apologetic, then asked excitedly, "How can you be here. . .what is going on?"  
  
Jenny smiled and replied, "After I died, the Powers that Be summoned my spirit and gave me a choice. . .you were destined to defeat Angelus, but I was given the option of deciding how that matter would be resolved by helping Willow cast the curse in time. . .or failing to do so and letting you kill Angelus. Either choice would have been tough on you. . .I hope I made the right one."  
  
Not trusting herself to speak, Buffy nodded, and began hesitantly: "Jenny, I'm so sorry. . .if I hadn't been so stubborn-"  
  
Jenny held up her hand, then smiled and replied, "Buffy, it was meant to be. . .you tried to fix things, as did I. . .we were just too late." She squeezed Buffy's shoulder, then continued, "In any event, the Powers were pleased at how I had chosen, and decided that I would make a good emissary for them. . .besides, between Drusilla and the First Evil impersonating me, I've got a lot of damage control to do." She looked at Buffy, and seemed to fall back into the teacher mode that Buffy remembered as she asked, "I assume you got the point of this little exercise?"  
  
Buffy looked at her reproachfully and replied, "Yeah, I get it, I get it, Yoda. I need to stop pushing my friends away, because I need them." She looked at Jenny, and pain was clearly visible as she whispered, 'It's just so hard, Jenny. I can't stand the thought of losing any of them. . .I almost lost it after you died and Giles. . ." She couldn't go on, and Jenny moved forward and grasped her shoulders until Buffy looked up at her. "Buffy, every one of your friends is here because they want to be. . .because it is the best way in which they believe they can live their lives. . .even Cordelia is starting to think that way, Goddess help us all. You have to trust them. . .and trust yourself."  
  
Buffy chuckled, and commented, "I suppose you think I should throw myself at Xander, too." Jenny smiled conspiratorially and replied, "Well, looking at things from a safe distance, he is awfully cute." Both women laughed, then Jenny continued in a more serious vein, "Buffy, that's a decision for you and you alone to make. . .but don't push him away just because you're afraid that you are cursed, and that anyone you love is doomed, or because you don't want to endanger him further on general principles. If you want to be with him, and he wants to be with you, don't let fear stand in the way. Rupert and I waited too long. . .you don't have to." She smiled at Buffy again, then whispered, "I have to go."  
  
Buffy suppressed an urge to grab her, to keep her there, as she whispered, "Jenny, wait. . .Giles will want to see you."  
  
Jenny smiled sadly and replied, "I know, but my mission here is done, and I can't stay. Do tell him I'm all right, though, and that I'm happy for him." At Buffy's raised eyebrow, Jenny grinned and elaborated, "You'll see when you go downstairs." She turned away, and faded out of sight as her last words echoed through the room:  
  
"You'd better hurry, Buffy. It's almost midnight."  
  
Buffy looked at the clock and saw that it was ten seconds to midnight. She whirled and dashed out of the room.  
  
  
*****  
  
Giles and Joyce stood watching the huge lighted ball descend towards the "2000" sign on the TV and held their breath. As the clock indicated fifteen seconds left, Giles turned to Joyce with a rakish grin and asked, "Would you care to do the honors, Ms. Summers?"  
  
Joyce smiled and nodded, replying, "It would be my pleasure." As the clock ticked down to five seconds, they leaned toward each other, eyes closed.  
  
Giles felt a surprisingly strong set of feminine arms pull him around and pull his head down. His eyes opened and he only had a moment to register the presence of Willow before her lips met his-  
  
  
*****  
  
Angel moved behind Cordelia and called out, "Hey." She turned to see him and commented softly, "Angel. . .I don't think I need a bodyguard. . . even the things that go bump in the night are probably partying right now."  
  
Angel smiled, then replied, "I know. . .but I heard you and Xander talking. . .and aside from his insistence on calling me Dead Boy, I agree with everything he had to say. You can handle this thing, Cordelia. . .anyone who can bluff a homicidal vampire into flight and intimidate a ghost into backing off is someone to be reckoned with."  
  
Cordelia smiled and sighed, then replied, "Maybe. . .but I just can't shake the feeling that I don't belong in this situation. . .I'm not a hero, Angel. . .I just-"  
  
Without warning, Angel leaned down and kissed Cordelia on the lips.  
  
*****  
  
Buffy moved over to the stairs, her thoughts racing. * I can get to Xander by midnight. . .we can do the whole millenium kiss thing, and I can see how he's feeling about the whole Anya situation. We can talk it out. . .maybe it can wor * As she moved down the stairs, she froze. Xander was standing in the front doorway, and Anya was with him. As the sound of Dick Clark announcing "Happy New Millenium!" echoed through the room, Xander embraced Anya and kissed her passionately. In spite of her shock, Buffy also registered the fact that Willow was kissing Giles in a similar manner as Joyce looked on with a look that was simultaneously startled and pleased. Buffy sighed and thought * No fruit for Buffy * as she moved down the stairs and towards Xander and Anya.  
  
*****  
  
  
After a long moment, Willow broke the kiss and looked up at Giles, registering the startled but pleased look in his eyes as she smiled and whispered, "Happy New Millenium, Rupert."  
  
He looked at her for a long moment, then simply asked, "Are you sure, Willow?"  
  
She nodded solemnly and replied, "Oz told me to use my best judgment. . .and I've never been so sure of anything in my life." She looked at him for another moment, then flushed and turned to Joyce, commenting, "I'm sorry, Mrs. Summers, that was rude of me-"  
  
Joyce smiled and replied, "It's completely all right, Willow. . .and I think that under the circumstances you should call me Joyce from now on." She smiled wickedly and suggested, "We should get together some time. . .compare notes." The two women giggled, while Giles flushed and wondered if he could possibly be more embarrassed. . .or, as he looked at the young woman who had chosen to share her life with him, more lucky.  
  
  
*****  
  
  
After a moment, Angel broke the kiss and looked at Cordelia. She smiled at him, then frowned and commented, "That was sweet, Angel. . .but I've tried a lot. . .and I don't think I can get rid of the power that way. . .wish I'd known that before I kissed Barney."  
  
Angel laughed, and explained, "No, Cordelia. . .it was for the New Millenium." He indicated the sounds of celebration coming from around them, and he continued softly, "I just wanted to show you how lucky I feel to have someone of your quality to work with in these times. . .I miss Doyle too, but I'm glad I have you to help me face things."  
  
Cordelia was touched at the effort Angel was making, and chose to reward him by fixing him with a sardonic look and commenting, "You know, some bosses show that by increasing that little thing we employees like to call a paycheck." She smiled at Angel's briefly annoyed look, then breezily called out, "Come on, you big undead fashion plate, you. Let's get back to the party."  
  
Angel sighed at his success: Cordelia was definitely back to normal. More than a little ambivalent, he followed her back in the direction of the Summers' house.  
  
*****  
  
Buffy walked over to Xander and Anya, carefully concealing the substantial disappointment she was feeling as the two lovers straightened and noticed her presence. She smiled and commented, "Glad you could make it, Anya. Xander said you had other plans. . ."  
  
Anya smiled self-consciously and replied, "Uh. . .I decided that I should be here, instead. . .that's not weird or anything, is it?"  
  
Buffy shook her head slowly and replied, "No, Anya, it's not weird at all." She walked over and kissed Xander on the cheek as she said, "Happy New Millenium, Xander."  
  
Xander smiled and returned the kiss on Buffy's cheek. "Happy New Millenium, Buffy." He saw the rather odd look on her face and asked, "Are you all right?"  
  
Buffy nodded and replied, "All present and accounted for, sir." She glanced across the room and saw Giles and Willow talking as Joyce looked on. She turned to Xander, who was watching his two friends with an ambivalent look on his face, and whispered, "Excuse me. . .I think I need to have a conversation with a couple of friends." She moved over to Giles and Willow as Xander muttered, "Me too," before turning back to Anya and kissing her again.  
  
*****  
  
It was a few minutes later, and everyone was standing in the living room, watching the continuing partying in New York and talking when Buffy called out, "May I have everyone's attention, please." The conversations stopped, and all eyes were on the Slayer.  
  
Buffy smiled self-consciously, then began, "It's been an interesting night. We've seen new love given a chance-" she indicated Giles and Willow, who stood together arm and arm watching Buffy with a mild flush on their cheeks, "-a developing love taking a turn for the better-" looking at Xander and Anya looking at each other before turning back to Buffy, "-and old friends returning to visit the ones who care for them." She looked at Angel and Cordelia, who smiled in acknowledgement, but she also glanced briefly in the direction of her room before continuing, "With all of that, I can only think of one thing to say." She raised her champagne glass, and all of the others followed her gesture as she said, "To love, and friendship. May none of us ever forget how much we mean to each other. . .and may we share many more occasions like this one in the future."  
  
All drank to the toast, and everyone smiled at Buffy before returning to their conversations. Giles and Willow moved over to Buffy, and Willow whispered to Buffy, "Giles told me about the prophecy. . .are you all right?"  
  
The Slayer smiled, and she gave her best friend a hug before explaining briefly: "Willow, the prophecy was wrong. . .it wasn't about defeating my most dangerous enemy." She paused, then finished to the accompaniment of the laughter of those nearest and dearest to her:  
  
"It was about remembering what my greatest assets are."  
  
  
As always, comments are welcomed and desired  
  
  



End file.
